Coping? Use Your Love Language.

🔥 A quick tip to coping long-term.

Hey there, friend,

If you’re anything like me right now—American, neurodivergent, deeply concerned about the future state of Earth—then you’re probably spending a lot of time coping these days.

Accurate?

Then, boy, do I have a suggestion for you!

It can be overwhelming trying to pick a coping strategy after you’ve been coping for so long.

Long-term coping actually has a lot more to do with what you need vs. what you want.

Short-term coping is usually distraction:

• doomscrolling

• playing video games

• eating food

• going out

All of these things serve to keep your mind off of things rather than address what you really need to resolve.

And that’s okay!

I need to reiterate that that’s okay!!

Distraction is not a bad thing and is a legitimate therapeutic coping strategy.

It’s just not long-term.

Long-term, what I’ve come to realize, is that you need to have an awareness of your Love Language(s).

In case you’re unaware, the Five Love Languages was originally a book written by some rando, Gary Chapman, and we’ve all accepted it as The Truth™️ now.

Those 5 Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Giving/Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

Now that you know what the five love languages are, let’s dive into some examples of how you could use them to cope long-term.

The easiest example is words of affirmation.

Want to know how I use my #1 love language?

I journal for myself, and I handmake cards for others.

Yes, of course, I also write this newsletter, and I’m a firm believer that any art you make is only for yourself and yourself alone at the end of the day, but I’d hope it comes across at least a little that I’m doing this for you, as well.

A person can hope.

Anyways, onto the other four love languages:

• Quality Time is obvious. Spend quality time (either IRL or online) with 1-2 people that you can really talk about anything with, and that know you better than you know yourself.

• Giving/Receiving Gifts is also quite obvious. Ask someone in your life if you’d like to trade gifts for no reason. That way, you get a gift without having to ask for one.

• Acts of Service is less obvious, but a few ideas I have for this one would be volunteering, coaching, and cleaning with a friend.

• Physical Touch does not have to be from another human. Deep pressure therapy from a dog or cat on your lap is heaven.

And these are not just one-off adventures, okay?

Remember, we’re talking about long-term coping strategies here!

So if you need quality time, schedule weekly check-ins with friends.

If you need physical touch and have nobody in your life, make it a habit to go to the animal shelter or local dog park.

Basically, my suggestion is this: Act like you’re completely on your own when it comes to your needs.

You’re not completely on your own, but instead of waiting around for somebody else to give you a gift or clean with you, why don’t you offer to do that for somebody else and see what happens?

The world needs more initiators.

It’s the only way we’re getting out of this mess.

So, please, initiate weird phone calls. Initiate potlucks. Initiate volunteering more. Initiate making items for strangers. Initiate conversations in cafes.

Initiate whatever the hell you need to make yourself happy, because chances are it’s gonna make someone else happy, too, dammit.

x, Atlas