Red Flags I’m Never Ignoring Again

🔥 And ones you shouldn’t ignore, either.

Hey there, friend,

As you can imagine, breakups come with a lot—and I mean a lot—of reflection.

In my first few days, I was consumed by so much anger, all I could do was reflect (cough, ruminate) on all the things that made me so angry about the breakup: How long it took me to do it, becoming the person I didn’t want to be, the way he treated me, etc. etc.

It was a lot.

So what better way to process that anger than write about it?

Red flags I ignored—and never will again.

1. Yelling.

Don’t worry, this is one of the first traits I set a boundary around in my relationship with my ex.

But you know what I won’t be putting up with anymore?

Bingo. Yelling.

You yell at me and continue to do so when I don’t yell back and we’re through.

2. Feeling isolated.

Now, I know it’s a common controlling red flag if someone is actively isolating you from your friends, family members, and more.

And my ex did this—to a degree. He only ever vetted out bad people from my life; people that only wanted to fuck me, use me, or both.

So I fell for it.

Now I know that the feeling is just as much proof as the actual act.

I’m no longer going to sit around and ignore my feelings just because he feels validated in his controlling behaviors.

3. “Too soon.”

From the very beginning of the relationship, it felt “too soon” to me.

I felt like we rushed into the relationship, like we rushed into “I love you,” like we rushed into moving in together.

And all that rushing eventually imploded.

Next time, I’m taking my time.

4. Telling me what to do.

One thing my partner rarely did when things were difficult was ask me what I wanted to do.

Instead, he’d just tell me.

And I get it—to a degree. I need direct communication. (Thanks, autism.)

But I don’t need to be told what to do; I’m still an adult.

So if somebody feels that comfortable bossing me around… I’m going to think twice about if I even want to do what they say.

5. Fear during conflict.

Our feelings are our only compasses in this world.

If you’re on the path to full self-awareness (which goes far beyond logical understanding of yourself), then listen to your feelings!!

If you feel scared during conflict—something is off.

And if something feels off—it is.

Yes, I wish I would’ve stood up for myself more in conflict, but I wish more that I would’ve listened to myself afterconflict.

What are some red flags you no longer ignore?

I’d love to make this list longer if you have any to share!

And even if not, I hope this helps.

x, Atlas